“Are You Losing Your Fire?”

Who are you?  Who am I?

What is left after the roles we usually adopt and identify with (i.e. I’m a nurse, wife, father, Christian, Buddhist, runner, supervisor, American, scientist, etc?) is dimming and falling at the wayside? 

Well, oftentimes we find ourselves wallowing in ash dust, and with wrinkly, torn sackcloth thrown lightly on our shoulders.  Just light enough that it cannot be shaken off so easily. 

It’s not a frequent thing that someone stops long enough to notice a change or something is happening in another person.  We are many times too busy tending to our own problems, agendas, and life dramas.  Heck, it’s not often that you are swift to notice your own changes when they occur much less that of another breathing being.

If it’s you going through any change, which we know is inevitable, and it side-jabs you, you may be left in much confusion, feeling vulnerable, and scared. 

Notice that when in the mix and “thick” of it, you hardly ever stop long enough to acknowledge that whatever problem, grief, drama, trauma, or fear blanketing your current view, but change may be good for your growth and in the long run may be most liberating. 

They tell me the fire started just about everything, from the heart beat, breath, etc., to the ascent of human evolution that brought us to where we currently are.  It is the flame that burns in you causing you to move warmly and lightly on your feet, with swift resolve to accomplish what you set out accomplish.  This fire drives you to be highly involved in what you do, where you are, or where you think you want to go. 

“Are you losing your fire?” someone recently ask me.  “Well it seems you are.”  I didn’t see it coming, the question that is, but I saw the change coming… in me. 

When you loose your fire for something, there will be a struggle.  Sometimes a long one. You will wrestle the Self and your two-tooth demons.  You will ask, should you stay or should you go?  If you look a little deeper and find the emptiness, which usually is nestled in the heart, something will be resounding there.  You won’t find that ebullient Spirit you usually thrived on prodding you to explore even further the path you’ve been traveling.   

Instead, your heart may decide it wants to explore other viable option and experiences.  If someone could explain to me this mystery (Why this happens, the Origin…), I will gladly prepare a cot at his or her feet, to sit and learn.  I just know I read somewhere it is termed “Divine discontent.”  And it usually is a call to change. 

All I know is that perceptions, thoughts, things you grasp and hold on to (i.e., even a profession, marriage, etc), can be burned by the “fire” of change, but the true Self (we are beautiful and basically good beings) remains. It’s a pity some aspects of our personality which we would gladly shed away if we could easily do so, will also remain.  Fire can’t consume these.  You have to work to improve on those yourself!  And you’ll find this is not so easy…

I recognize we are constantly immersed in change.  It happens in our family in many ways, sometimes through loosing a loved one to death, and sometimes simply through relationship separation.  The job, and responsibilities, is also in a constant state of flux.  This life, and the things we easily gasp onto, is impermanent.  We cannot fight it, but can rest in the knowing that change is inevitable.

OYE! Standing still observing change is sometimes scary.  Look, it’s okay to feel very vulnerable too.  When it is time to brush off your dusty feet from traveling one path you are no longer passionate about to put on some new stilettos, running shoes, or boots and walk away, this is also okay.  I strive on being freer in the moment to experience my own inevitable changes.  With deep presence, I hope you can do the same.  And when you do this, I wish you the courage to be able to start walking another path, with  appreciation for the change that the “fire of love” brings.  Today I am grateful for the messenger who asked me this most beautiful question, “Are you loosing your fire?”